I have always sought out peace and normality in my life, but have yet to find it. I feel the thing holding me back is love. While I love all of my friends, family, kids, mother, and acquaintances to pieces-I lack that love from an actual lover. I have (had) a husband who made me feel amazing, yet I will always have an inclining of pure unadulterated disdain for the type of treatment I received while hard at work. I sit on a precipice of being a single strong Black woman or stay and always wonder if this is the real deal. While I have love for, I don't feel in love with him. Sad, but true. There is no turning back on a scorned woman. Good luck to you, Dijuan.
I feel like I am 78 or something, I have 3 doctors appointments in less than a month to get BC and check on my bad ticker. Shit sucks. For now I am eating plenty veg and smoothies with raw fruits and diet juices. Bleeeckch! lol Other than that this year is ok. I like 2016. I will be joining the gym soon, yeah it sounds cliche, but I have to in order to keep my heart healthy. I choose life. Been coloring in one of those adult coloring books with inspirational messages. I like it, no I love it. Fun stuff! I hung two of the finished pics in my cubicle and it really makes my dull desk interesting now. Well I am off to relax before work. Ciao.
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