I have been MIA for a long ass while. Been trying to figure some things out. Mostly love and money. Kids are great, mom is great, but I am stagnant. I have been struggling with my true purpose and value as a person. Searching for the meaning of my existing. There is a talent show at one of the casino resorts here in Las Vegas and that has kept me occupied and detracted from wanting to die. Suicidal thoughts have been kept at bay with arranging my vocals and planning my costume. I pray these feelings will go away someday and I will have a sunnier disposition. But for now I can only try to stay busy and pray. Stay strong readers...
I feel like I am 78 or something, I have 3 doctors appointments in less than a month to get BC and check on my bad ticker. Shit sucks. For now I am eating plenty veg and smoothies with raw fruits and diet juices. Bleeeckch! lol Other than that this year is ok. I like 2016. I will be joining the gym soon, yeah it sounds cliche, but I have to in order to keep my heart healthy. I choose life. Been coloring in one of those adult coloring books with inspirational messages. I like it, no I love it. Fun stuff! I hung two of the finished pics in my cubicle and it really makes my dull desk interesting now. Well I am off to relax before work. Ciao.
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