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I hate the fact that I cuss like a sailor, but it helps to get my point across. I also hate using that tactic to talk to my husband. It is hard enough to be around someone so traditional and then have your street and hood come out when you are defending something or an idea. Kinda embarrassing. I don't know why he married me at all. I would not have. Oil and water seems more compatible. No amount of counseling could fix us, yet he is still here. I don't know why. It is not love, not money, not sex either as I greatly have no appetite for it....not with anyone. I feel broken and lost. I do not know what will happen next but it has to be better than this.....

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