I hate the fact that I cuss like a sailor, but it helps to get my point across. I also hate using that tactic to talk to my husband. It is hard enough to be around someone so traditional and then have your street and hood come out when you are defending something or an idea. Kinda embarrassing. I don't know why he married me at all. I would not have. Oil and water seems more compatible. No amount of counseling could fix us, yet he is still here. I don't know why. It is not love, not money, not sex either as I greatly have no appetite for it....not with anyone. I feel broken and lost. I do not know what will happen next but it has to be better than this.....
I feel like I am 78 or something, I have 3 doctors appointments in less than a month to get BC and check on my bad ticker. Shit sucks. For now I am eating plenty veg and smoothies with raw fruits and diet juices. Bleeeckch! lol Other than that this year is ok. I like 2016. I will be joining the gym soon, yeah it sounds cliche, but I have to in order to keep my heart healthy. I choose life. Been coloring in one of those adult coloring books with inspirational messages. I like it, no I love it. Fun stuff! I hung two of the finished pics in my cubicle and it really makes my dull desk interesting now. Well I am off to relax before work. Ciao.
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